I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
