think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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