when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
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Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
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I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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