i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize