That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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