TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
