There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
