i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
