You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
