New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
accomplished twins. life is a go
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
