can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
