the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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