Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
