BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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