Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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