Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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