i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize