I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
