what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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