The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize