i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
