I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My ATM looks so different sober.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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