You work out of a Hotel?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
