I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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