i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
