He is an equal opportunity slut.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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