I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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