If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
