I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
