Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
we're so committed to being not committed
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
