We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
