I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
