Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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