you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The feeling are messing with the penis
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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