Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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