"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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