im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
