Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think your dad took our porno
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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