She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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