I think im going to throw up on grandma
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
