Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
