He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
