my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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