im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize