is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
