She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
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The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
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I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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