I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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