I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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