Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
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her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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