the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
