She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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