duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
