We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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