Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
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I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
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Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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