We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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