When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
