Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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