Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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