it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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