I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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