I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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