i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Please don't give away my fajitas
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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