He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
