Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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