This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
