hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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