Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
