I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
