My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
