the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
